In Honor of Movember: The Top 5 Mustaches in the History of the NHL, NBA, NFL and MLB

Movember is once again upon us...

In honor of one of my favorite annual traditions, I've compiled my list of the greatest sports mustaches.

The following list is a list of men. Real men. Because it takes a man to not only grow a mustache, but to go out in public with a mustache as well.

NHL

Let's start with the NHL. In a league where playoff beards are frequent, there are a surprisingly low number of respectable mustaches. We need some players today to put the razors away.

5.) Wendel Clark (1985-2000)

As a rookie in 1985 he had 227 penalty minutes, which earned him the nickname "Captain Crunch." Although the debate remains open as to if this nickname came strictly because of his mustache.

4.) Eddie Shack (1959-1975)

Shack played for six teams in his career. Perhaps the most disappointing part of his retirement came with a Schick razor promotion in which he shaved off his famous mo'.

3.) Cal Clutterbuck (2007-present)

Who cares what he's done with his short career. His name is "Clutterbuck" and he has the second greatest active mustache in hockey.

2.) George Parros (2005-present)

One of the baddest guys in the NHL with the best mustache in the league. Oh, and for what it's worth, he went to Princeton.

1.) Lanny McDonald (1973-1989)

Two words: Ginger 'stache.

NBA

Imagine showing up to a pick up game at your neighborhood court rocking a mustache. Chances are, no one is gonna pass to the guy with the 'stache.

Honorable Mentions:

David Stern

Mike D'Antoni

Phil Jackson

Cliff Paul

5.) Adam Morrison (2006-2010)

Much like Morrison's career, his mustache was a bit lacking. Fortunately he looks ridiculous enough to land him the five seed.

4.) Clyde Drexler (1983-1998)

Cylde "The Glide" is one of the 50 greatest players of all time. He is known for his fast pace play on the court and his smooth laid back attitude off the court. It's tough to be anything but smooth with a 'stache like Drexler's.

3.) Larry Bird (1979-1992)

Known as "The Hick from French Lick," Bird is arguably the greatest Celtic of all time. There is no debate about the fact that he has the best mustache in the history of the storied Boston franchise. It could be the ugliest 'stache on this entire list but it could also be the greatest blonde caterpillar in all of sports.

2.) Kurt Rambis (1980-1995)

Rambis is perhaps the first ever hipster. With his thick framed glasses and his even thicker mustache he has paved the road of style for thousands of twenty-somethings in modern day Brooklyn. Rambis was once clotheslined by Kevin McHale in the 1984 NBA Finals because McHale was jealous of Kurt's upper lip.

1.) Walt "Clyde" Frazier (1967-1980)

Words cannot describe the swagger this man possess. Frazier needed every inch of his 6'4" frame to support the growth on his upper lip. Bonus points given for the sideburns...not that he needed it, as the 'stache speaks for itself.

NFL

It's tough to rock a 'stache as a football player due to the fact that no one sees your face under your helmet. These guys didn't let that kill their upper lip caterpillar. 

Honorable Mentions:

Peyton Manning

Joe Flacco

5.) Walter Payton (1975-1987)

Contrary to popular belief, Payton gained the nickname "Sweetness" after Coach Mike Ditka (see below) was asked to describe Payton's upper lip.

4.) Aaron Rodgers (2005-present)

Although Rodgers took home Super Bowl XLV MVP honors, his career really took off when he started sporting an epic trucker 'stache during the 2012 season.

3.) Joe Namath (1965-1977)

Broadway Joe was usually a clean cut, fashionable guy, but when you've slept with more women than the average porn star, eventually a mustache is bound to make an appearance.

2.) Dave Wannstedt (1975-present)

Coach Wannstedt has the look that begs the question, "did that man come out of the womb with a full mustache?" 

The answer is no, he was not born with a mustache. That would be ridiculous.

1.) Mike Ditka (1961-present(?))

A mustache that needs no introduction. From gracing the playing field, to the sidelines, to your television on Sundays, Coach Ditka's 'stache is head and shoulders above the rest.

MLB

Major League Baseball takes the cake for the best mustaches. In a sport full of strange traditions, it's no surprise that the mustache thrives.

Honorable Mentions:

Clay Zavada 

Carl Pavano 

Randy Johnson 

John Axford

5.) Don Mattingly (1982-1995)

Despite currently losing his hair as manager of the Dodgers, Mattingly once sported a nice bushy caterpillar on his upper lip in his days with the Yankees.

4.) Wade Boggs (1982-1999)

Only a man with a mustache could drink 64 beers during a single cross country flight, as Boggs is rumored to have done during a road trip. Although 64 beers is a stretch, it is impossible to exaggerate the greatness of the Boggs 'Stache.

In Boggs' words "Let's put it this way, it was a few Miller Lites."

3.) Dennis Eckersley (1975-1998)

Eckersley owns possibly the greatest achievement of all mustache's on the list as his mo once graced the pages of Playgirl. When he wasn't saving games, his 'stache was surely breaking hearts.

2.) Goose Gossage (1972-1994)

Gossage lead the American League in saves three times and in greatest mustache nine times during his 22 year career. Fortunately for Gossage, our number one ranked player retired in 1985 allowing Gossage to take over the title until his retirement in 1994.

1.) Rollie Fingers (1968-1985)

Closing out our list we have a mustache that needs no introduction. The King of Face Furniture, The Sultan of Snot-Mops, The Wizard of Whiskers, Mr. Rollie Fingers.

So there you have it, the top five Mo's in the four major sports.

I leave you with perhaps the manliest stache in all of sports:

Dale Earnhart Sr.