As we recognized Prematurity Awareness Day last weekend, it got me to thinking...why not share my story. Many of you know our families story, but I wanted to share a different perspective of the roller coaster ride that has been the last two years of my life. So I'm taking a break from sports (somewhat) to share Austin and Cole's story through their dad's eyes.
It all happened so fast and to be honest if I told you that I remembered all of it, I would be lying. From getting the call at work to driving to the Central Vermont Medical Center and then to Dartmouth, it seemed like an hour when in reality it had already been a full day. After a couple of days sleeping on a hospital recliner it was back to work for me and nightly trips from our home in Montpelier to Dartmouth. Honestly, working was the hardest part for me, having to be away from my family. I was miles away from where I wanted to be, always hoping for a good call, but expecting a bad one. Those crazy solo trips lasted for a week until January 28th when Austin and Cole arrived at 31 weeks, both weighing under 4 lbs.
The first hour of their lives was one that I will cherish forever. After meetings with various doctors whose faces I vaguely remember, I spent the next hour alone with my two boys for the first time. I was the only one allowed in the room as they were placed into separate incubators. While all this was going on, I found myself praying for the first time in years. It wasn't my finest hour, spending most of it scrambling around trying to make sense of it all and trying to be where I was supposed to be. It is also a time that I always reflect on when I think times are rough on me, imagining what they were going through during that first hour. Right then, I knew it was going to be a long road, but a road I was so happy to be on.
When you deal with events like this, you learn to cheer for the small victories. Days like leaving one NICU for another NICU closer to home. Bigger events were celebrated louder like when the tubes disappeared, breathing on their own became easier and the alarms faded away. Through the first couple of months there were countless tests and not to sound pessimistic but one of them had to turn up something right? Wrong. The boys fought through and were finally able to come home after 41 days spent at the two different hospitals.
One thing I have learned over my first two years of being a dad is how you need to have a positive outlook for your kids no matter how stacked the odds seem to be against them. There have been selfish moments don't get me wrong. On trips to the hospital, many thoughts race through your head. Thoughts like, are one of these tests going to turn up something that prevents my kids from playing sports? While this kind of thinking is shortsighted, especially for someone working in the Mental Health field, I think it only made me like any other person.
There have been plenty of athletes who have persevered through various disabilities. You can't help but be inspired when you come across stories like All-American wrestler Anthony Robles who won an NCAA championship in 2011 despite being born without a right leg or the story of Jason McElwain who erased autism stereotypes a few years ago after scoring 20 points in a high school basketball game. These types of stories helped me realize there could be a way for my kids to follow their dreams no matter what challenges they were dealt. Thankfully though it has been so far so good.
With hopefully the toughest of times behind them, Austin and Cole are now active and healthy 22 month year olds. They were even up cheering for their first Red Sox World Series championship last month (it took me 17 years). Like I mentioned earlier, we learn to cheer the small victories and celebrate the big ones.
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